Description

"Max Encumbrance" Survival Tote - Loot Goblin Standard Issue

€17,69 EUR
Taxes included.
13" × 13'' / Red

In every RPG, there is that one player who picks up absolutely everything because "I might need this later." In the apocalypse, that player is you. This tactical haulage unit celebrates the noble, back-breaking art of carrying 99kg of absolute trash. Featuring a live status bar of your terrible inventory choices—including 37 broken spoons and a single left shoe—it serves as a warning to your squad that you are currently moving at 50% speed due to hoarding. Wear it until your stamina bar depletes completely.

  • The Infinite Void: Spacious main compartment designed to hold the maximum amount of "valuable" debris before your character collapses.

  • Visual HUD: Clearly displays your 99/100 KG weight limit so nobody asks why you are sweating so profusely.

  • Structural Reinforcement: Heavy-duty handles are engineered to be significantly stronger than your spine is right now.

  • Asset Management: Perfect for organizing critical supplies, such as half-empty water bottles and footwear that doesn't have a match.

  • Compact Deployment: Folds flat when empty, although let's be honest, you are never going to empty it.



Product features
- 100% polyester body — durable, shape-retaining, quick-drying medium-weight fabric
- Reinforced double-stitched handles for extra strength
- Boxed corners create added carrying volume and structure
- Non-woven laminate interior with cotton handles; available in three sizes
- Seamless thread color and five handle color options for a clean, custom look

Care instructions
- Remove all items from the bag before cleaning. Suggested to pretreat visible stains with stain remover. Mix warm water with laundry detergent and clean the bag with terry washcloth or a soft bristle brush. Let the bag air dry.

The "Curriculum" Approach

Incoming Resupply Protocols

We print every piece of gear on-demand to prevent waste—because resource management is key to survival.

  • Mobilization Time: Please allow 2-5 days for us to manufacture your supplies at our nearest stronghold.
  • Transit: Once deployed, standard shipping typically takes 3-5 business days (depending on the status of the local infrastructure).
  • Tracking: You will receive a tracking link as soon as your loot drop is airborne. Watch your inbox.

Mission Assurance Guarantee

We strive for 100% mission success, but sometimes supply drops go wrong.

  • Damaged Goods: If your gear arrives damaged, misprinted, or infected, send us a photo within 30 days. We will deploy a replacement immediately—no cost, no questions.
  • Wrong Size: Did you overestimate your stats? It happens. Contact support, and we'll help sort out your loadout.
  • Support Comms: Our bunker staff is on standby to ensure you are equipped properly. Do not hesitate to signal us.

Built to Last (Without Ruining What's Left)

Survival isn't just about bunkers; it's about preserving what we have.

  • Zero Waste: We use a made-to-order model. No warehouses full of unsold stock ending up in landfills. We only make what you actually need.
  • Ethical Supply: Our apparel is produced using OEKO-TEX certified dyes and sourced via the US Cotton Trust Protocol.
  • Durability: We choose materials (ring-spun cotton, heavy blends) designed to survive the wash cycle and the wasteland.

Educational Entertainment for the End Times

You know us from the simulations. Survival Curriculum is dedicated to turning terrifying fictional scenarios—from zombies to nuclear winter—into actionable, science-based survival skills.

  • Support the Research: Every piece of gear you buy directly funds the research and animation for our next YouTube simulation.
  • Join the Ranks: Wearing this gear signals to other survivors that you know Rule #1 (Cardio) and you have a plan.

Stay safe, stay prepared, and thanks for funding the bunker.