Description

"Problem Solved" Survival Mug - Low-Tech Engineering

€11,24 EUR
Taxes included.
11oz

Complex problems don't always require high-caliber solutions. Sometimes, they just require adhesive. This tactical beverage container displays the most efficient equation in the wasteland: silencing a hostile target without wasting a single round of ammunition. It serves as a daily reminder that while you can't fix the apocalypse, you can make it significantly quieter. If it moves and shouldn't, use a melee weapon. If it moans and shouldn't, apply the tape. Simple.

  • Visual Schematic: Clear, instructional equation demonstrates proper noise discipline techniques for the undead.

  • Thermal Retention: Heavy-duty ceramic keeps your caffeine warm while you wait for the adhesive to set.

  • Ergonomic Grip: Sturdy C-handle ensures a firm hold, even when your hands are covered in sticky residue.

  • Blunt Force Utility: Solid construction allows the mug to function as a distraction projectile if the tape runs out.

  • High-Contrast Display: Bold graphics ensure the solution is visible even in low-light safehouse conditions.

.: White ceramic
.: 11 oz (0.33 l)
.: Rounded corners
.: C-handle

The "Curriculum" Approach

Incoming Resupply Protocols

We print every piece of gear on-demand to prevent waste—because resource management is key to survival.

  • Mobilization Time: Please allow 2-5 days for us to manufacture your supplies at our nearest stronghold.
  • Transit: Once deployed, standard shipping typically takes 3-5 business days (depending on the status of the local infrastructure).
  • Tracking: You will receive a tracking link as soon as your loot drop is airborne. Watch your inbox.

Mission Assurance Guarantee

We strive for 100% mission success, but sometimes supply drops go wrong.

  • Damaged Goods: If your gear arrives damaged, misprinted, or infected, send us a photo within 30 days. We will deploy a replacement immediately—no cost, no questions.
  • Wrong Size: Did you overestimate your stats? It happens. Contact support, and we'll help sort out your loadout.
  • Support Comms: Our bunker staff is on standby to ensure you are equipped properly. Do not hesitate to signal us.

Built to Last (Without Ruining What's Left)

Survival isn't just about bunkers; it's about preserving what we have.

  • Zero Waste: We use a made-to-order model. No warehouses full of unsold stock ending up in landfills. We only make what you actually need.
  • Ethical Supply: Our apparel is produced using OEKO-TEX certified dyes and sourced via the US Cotton Trust Protocol.
  • Durability: We choose materials (ring-spun cotton, heavy blends) designed to survive the wash cycle and the wasteland.

Educational Entertainment for the End Times

You know us from the simulations. Survival Curriculum is dedicated to turning terrifying fictional scenarios—from zombies to nuclear winter—into actionable, science-based survival skills.

  • Support the Research: Every piece of gear you buy directly funds the research and animation for our next YouTube simulation.
  • Join the Ranks: Wearing this gear signals to other survivors that you know Rule #1 (Cardio) and you have a plan.

Stay safe, stay prepared, and thanks for funding the bunker.