Description

"Squad Dynamics" Survival Hoodie - Know Your Place

€37,21 EUR
Taxes included.
S / Dark Heather

Effective apocalypse survival isn't about friendship; it's about asset optimization. This instructional garment clearly defines the three essential archetypes of any successful scavenging party: The Brains (navigation/strategy), The Muscle (carry weight/DPS), and The Bait (aggro management). It serves as a necessary reality check for your group. If you don't know which role you play, you're probably the one on the right. Wear this to establish the hierarchy early—before the zombies start deciding who tastes the slowest.

  • Visual Command: High-contrast stick figure schematics ensure everyone knows their assignment during a high-stress hoard event.

  • Thermal Regulation: Premium fleece interior keeps your core temp up while you wait for "The Bait" to finish drawing the enemy fire.

  • Inventory Slot: Spacious kangaroo pocket offers quick-access storage for the map, the melee weapon, or a final will and testament.

  • Stealth Profile: Double-lined hood with drawstrings allows you to lower your visibility when avoiding eye contact with the person you just sacrificed.

  • Agility Build: Relaxed fit ensures a full range of motion, guaranteeing you can run faster than at least one other person in your squad.



Disclaimer:
- Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.


.: The Gildan 18500 is made from a medium-heavy fabric (8.0 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)) made of 50% cotton and 50% polyester. This blend delivers cozy warmth and a soft feel that makes it perfect for chilly days.
.: The classic fit along with the pouch pocket and the tear-away label make for a highly comfortable, scratch-free wearing experience.
.: The color-matched drawcord and the double-lined hood add a stylish flair and durability that tie everything together.
.: Made using 100% ethically grown US cotton. Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production. The blank tee's dyes are OEKO-TEX-certified dyes with low environmental impact.
.: Fabric blends: Heather Sport colors - 60% polyester, 40% cotton
.: Embroidery decoration method available on either left chest, center chest, or large center chest, as well as right + left wrists

The "Curriculum" Approach

Incoming Resupply Protocols

We print every piece of gear on-demand to prevent waste—because resource management is key to survival.

  • Mobilization Time: Please allow 2-5 days for us to manufacture your supplies at our nearest stronghold.
  • Transit: Once deployed, standard shipping typically takes 3-5 business days (depending on the status of the local infrastructure).
  • Tracking: You will receive a tracking link as soon as your loot drop is airborne. Watch your inbox.

Mission Assurance Guarantee

We strive for 100% mission success, but sometimes supply drops go wrong.

  • Damaged Goods: If your gear arrives damaged, misprinted, or infected, send us a photo within 30 days. We will deploy a replacement immediately—no cost, no questions.
  • Wrong Size: Did you overestimate your stats? It happens. Contact support, and we'll help sort out your loadout.
  • Support Comms: Our bunker staff is on standby to ensure you are equipped properly. Do not hesitate to signal us.

Built to Last (Without Ruining What's Left)

Survival isn't just about bunkers; it's about preserving what we have.

  • Zero Waste: We use a made-to-order model. No warehouses full of unsold stock ending up in landfills. We only make what you actually need.
  • Ethical Supply: Our apparel is produced using OEKO-TEX certified dyes and sourced via the US Cotton Trust Protocol.
  • Durability: We choose materials (ring-spun cotton, heavy blends) designed to survive the wash cycle and the wasteland.

Educational Entertainment for the End Times

You know us from the simulations. Survival Curriculum is dedicated to turning terrifying fictional scenarios—from zombies to nuclear winter—into actionable, science-based survival skills.

  • Support the Research: Every piece of gear you buy directly funds the research and animation for our next YouTube simulation.
  • Join the Ranks: Wearing this gear signals to other survivors that you know Rule #1 (Cardio) and you have a plan.

Stay safe, stay prepared, and thanks for funding the bunker.