Description

"The Survival Strategy" Survival Crewneck - Panic Management Gear

€47,99 EUR
Taxes included.
S / Ash

You've binged every bushcraft video on the internet. You have a "Saved" playlist full of shelter-building hacks. But when the grid actually goes down, we all know what the data really looks like. This instructional garment provides a statistically accurate breakdown of the modern survivor's mind: 9% theoretical YouTube knowledge, 1% usable skills, and a massive, overwhelming 90% serving of internal screaming. Wear this to show your squad that while you might look stoic on the outside, internally, you are vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass.

  • Therapeutic Comfort: Soft fleece interior acts as a weighted blanket for your anxiety during high-stress encounters.

  • Data Transparency: High-visibility graphic warns allies that your contribution to the group project will be mostly noise, not solutions.

  • Structural Resilience: Durable stitching ensures the shirt holds it together even when your mental state is completely falling apart.

  • Ventilation Protocol: Relaxed fit allows for deep, diaphragmatic breathing exercises to combat the "90% Screaming" sector.

  • Honesty Modifier: Sets realistic expectations so nobody asks you to build the water filtration system just because you watched a tutorial once.



Product features
- Medium-heavy 50/50 cotton-poly blend (8.0 oz/yd²) for balanced warmth and durability
- Classic crewneck with ribbed collar and double-needle stitching for long-lasting shape
- Tubular knit (no side seams) for a smooth, waste-reducing silhouette
- DTG prints on body with optional embroidery placements (left/center chest, wrists) and DTF inner neck labels
- OEKO-TEX dyes and US Cotton Trust Protocol—safety- and sustainability-minded materials

Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Tumble dry: low heat
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean

The "Curriculum" Approach

Incoming Resupply Protocols

We print every piece of gear on-demand to prevent waste—because resource management is key to survival.

  • Mobilization Time: Please allow 2-5 days for us to manufacture your supplies at our nearest stronghold.
  • Transit: Once deployed, standard shipping typically takes 3-5 business days (depending on the status of the local infrastructure).
  • Tracking: You will receive a tracking link as soon as your loot drop is airborne. Watch your inbox.

Mission Assurance Guarantee

We strive for 100% mission success, but sometimes supply drops go wrong.

  • Damaged Goods: If your gear arrives damaged, misprinted, or infected, send us a photo within 30 days. We will deploy a replacement immediately—no cost, no questions.
  • Wrong Size: Did you overestimate your stats? It happens. Contact support, and we'll help sort out your loadout.
  • Support Comms: Our bunker staff is on standby to ensure you are equipped properly. Do not hesitate to signal us.

Built to Last (Without Ruining What's Left)

Survival isn't just about bunkers; it's about preserving what we have.

  • Zero Waste: We use a made-to-order model. No warehouses full of unsold stock ending up in landfills. We only make what you actually need.
  • Ethical Supply: Our apparel is produced using OEKO-TEX certified dyes and sourced via the US Cotton Trust Protocol.
  • Durability: We choose materials (ring-spun cotton, heavy blends) designed to survive the wash cycle and the wasteland.

Educational Entertainment for the End Times

You know us from the simulations. Survival Curriculum is dedicated to turning terrifying fictional scenarios—from zombies to nuclear winter—into actionable, science-based survival skills.

  • Support the Research: Every piece of gear you buy directly funds the research and animation for our next YouTube simulation.
  • Join the Ranks: Wearing this gear signals to other survivors that you know Rule #1 (Cardio) and you have a plan.

Stay safe, stay prepared, and thanks for funding the bunker.